20 ~ Something will grow ~

Bang! Doof! Bang! Bang! Woah! Doof! Doof!

Are we trying to win marathons here?

A racing pulse, skipped beats, light headedness, dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath…

Woah!! What is transpiring here??

Wandered my mind.

After searching for answers, a medic explained:

its such & such a condition”

These are normal parameters… Vs abnormal.

“You experiencing a rapid pulse rate” said a dr but done absolutely nothing about it even though many EKG’s proved it consecutively.

“She is Tachy”

Another dr said the night I was admitted into hospital. Without a stethoscope, i placed my ear on to her chest while she was laying down like this *pointing to me on the bed* & it was really high.. Slowed down for a few minutes & then suddenly again bang! Bang! She gave me her brief history but to be honest I’m stumped.

Eleven months later.. *My reflexologist*:

“They should have inserted a pacemaker long time ago but I’m not sure how that will work out now. They might still consider it but that’s up to a neurologist & cardiologist to discuss whether you’re fit for it or not.”

** A pacemaker is a device that emits an electrical pulse when sensing an abnormal heart beat helping it to resume normally.. It is surgically implanted beneath the skin.

(I have to make it clear that some drs do not believe in reflexologists, but I guarantee that the help provided by the reflexologist I’ve been to, exceeded the help & knowledge of those drs who scoffed at him – will be elaborated at a later stage)

September 2016

Around the same time my Mitral Valve Prolapse Syndrome began.. Sudden rapid pulse rates began. It was not confined to any situation or postural change, occured at any time.

The heart comprises of 4 chambers, 2 upper chambers known as Atria & 2 lower chambers known as Ventricles.

The rhythm of our hearts are controlled by a natural pacemaker called the sinus node or SA (sinoatrial) node which is located in the right upper chamber.

This node produces electric impulses that begin each heartbeat.

Electrical impulses then travel across the upper chamber allowing the muscles to contract, slow down signal, then pump blood into the lower chambers allowing it to fill.

The muscles of the lower chambers then contract causing blood to pump out to the lungs & remainder of the body.

There are a list of factors that disrupts this electrical system which then causes the heart to beat irregularly, too fast – Tachycardia, or too slow – Bradycardia.

Drs usually abbreviate the term Tachycardia with Tachy.

In simple words;

A normal heart rate is considered between 60-100. Although, in hospital the monitors would begin beeping from 92 upwards to signal a rapid rate.

100 upwards is usually termed as Tachycardia. When beating too fast it does not pump blood effectively to the rest of the body which in turn causes a deprivation of oxygen to organs & tissue.

This is also where brain fog comes in – poor brain circulation leads to a foggy mind.

Every day has a “forecast”

A time where it is

Bradycardia is anything below 60.

This electrical system is also controlled by the Autonomic nervous system & that is where my problem steps in. Dysautonomia disrupts it causing either of the 3.

In my case it caused Tachycardia which was recognised early but not dealt with – medications not prescribed due to the assumptions of it being anxiety like I mentioned previously.

My current Neurologist mentioned a very important point after hearing the drs saga history;

Even if a person has a conversion disorder or their symptoms are caused due to anxiety, they should not be ignored! Infact, they deserve a full right of being treated as a proper patient!!! It is unfair to dismiss a patient on the basis of a conversion or psychic disorder.

Alas! The negligence of 4 drs during this period after the onset of my Tachy symptoms caused detrimental effects.

Further damage to my heart that could have been avoided, was not. But ultimately this was also predestined.

I emphasize this point to highlight that a patient should try their best to be fully aware of their condition, seeking avenues of proper information if confused & things do not make sense.

Do not take everything a dr says on face value & do not stop fighting for help to save oneself from worse damage. Try all that is in your reach, what occurs beyond that does not make you blameworthy.

Do not allow comments to deter you.

Some people are quick to say:

“How many drs are you running to?” Or

“Stop chasing behind drs”

Of course no dr holds a cure, cure is in no humans hands.. they are only a means. However here we are discussing diagnostic aspects.

Bearing that in mind, what was meant to be, could definitely not have been avoided as fate had it written that along with the MVPS associated coronary artery spasms…

Tachycardia is believed to have played a great role in the weakening of my heart muscle.

Depending on the type, cause, severity & duration of each rapid heart rate episode, if left untreated as well… The complications are:

1) Unstable blood pressure.

2) Blood clots that can cause a stroke or heart attack.

3) Heart failure (like my case)

4) Sudden death / Cardiac arrest.

There a few types of it but this is the basic necessary information. If anyone wishes to read in depth, please google or click this link..


On the lighter side of this condition

Lol. ๐Ÿ‘†

Having said all of the above..

Tachycardia can cause heart failure due to another condition OR be a symptom of heart failure alone without another prior condition.

A Tachycardia experienced while doing activities that should be well tolerated can be among the indicators of heart failure.

This will be elaborated at a later stage when discussing the full topic of my heart failure itself.

To give an idea these are the races my heart runs:

This is a reading taken upon awakening prior to heart failure. One above 100 at rest ๐Ÿ‘‡.

(This is called a pulse oximeter which reads a person’s oxygen level & pulse rate. SpO2 is the oxygen level. PRbpm is the pulse rate number)

A normal oxygen level is 94-99. Below that is a โ”โ“

Prior to the Esteck screening scan & first cardiology appointment was the appointment I had with an extended family dr who done a test to prove “my insanity”.

After insanity was proved clear I had to still hear “it’s in her mind, she has a psychic disorder…”

A statement undermined…

A statement which made close blood, doubt my illnesses let alone the depth of it…

A statement that drove me through hell & back…

BUT also

A statement that showed me those who outwardly appear sweet yet bitter inwardly…

A statement that taught me the loyalty of some yet selfish nature of others…

A statement that made those who fell for it blindly, later regret sorrowfully…

A statement that required a lengthy healing period.

I say to that dr: Thank you for all the arrows you pierced at me!! Why do I express thanks?

You taught me the pain of being falsely accused when having no idea of the battles a person is fighting

You taught the damages caused by pride. The damage of a few words that was below your dignity to utter:

“I do not know”

You taught me 2 qaulities to share unconditionally:

Compassion & kindness.

You taught me to watch all that my tongue spews out bearing in mind the repercussions of only one statement.

You granted me a new best friend to rekindle my spirits in the loving embrace of nature.

A friend that added unlimited daily beauty to life.

A friend who will never stab me in the back!

I know very well that you still doubt & continue to make others doubt me.. Yet I remain eternally grateful for the lessons you instilled in me. At the same time i remind you..

Do not think the damage you caused without any guilty conscience will be allowed to slip by, without a form of retribution..

As I sit typing this today with my lungs feeling like a sponge seeping with water weighing down heavily against my shrunken body frame, leaking into tissue causing ascites – belly swelling..

As i patiently yet urgently await a referral from my neurologist so I can be seen to by another pulmonologist…

The sentence that you uttered last when a family member sought help on my behalf for the respiratory issues:

“Don’t ever bring her back to me again, I don’t have any time to waste on her.”

Will return back to haunt you one day! For your lack of help despite being in the required position to go the extra mile.

I take an oath by the one who controls my life & yours, better help will be provided to me in place of your refusal.

May you be guided to handle patients correctly!!!

Experience taught me

Hurt raised me

Neither defined me.

What did the rain hail? And who is the friend gifting beautiful flowers….?

On another note: Maybe the moms who’s kids I taught can share their thoughts of me passing on the effects of a psychic disorder ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

11 thoughts on “20 ~ Something will grow ~

  1. the wheel turns
    it is a vicious circle
    every dog gets it’s day

    We don’t wish bad upon anyone
    but what goes around comes around


    you reap what u sow
    I am utterly disgusted the a doctor could do such a thing…..he should be made known to the world

    hang in there Kay

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow.. that is so apt!!! Jzk Khair soooo much for all your comments. They definitely mean a lot to me ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’–

      Exactly..! We do not wish bad upon one.. but I do wish that the hurt I felt.. he should be made to feel it too one day.

      Lots of love from my side ๐Ÿ˜˜
      Think of you always & often!!
      Time spent with you was sooo beautiful. I enjoyed every bit of it


  2. What can I say… Feeling broken hearted again amidst tears.. by reading this I’m reminded of the immense heartache we as siblings felt, I remember the pain mum felt, I remember how dad’s heart ached and ached and we had to watch him often well up in tears with the thought that family could do this to his flower.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I looove those puns Sis Maa shaa ALLAH, very intelligent ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Subhaan ALLAH that must have been a very difficult test, to be made to look like a psychic person whose illness does not actually exist :(( I can literally feel the pain of that; may ALLAH prove all those mean arrogant doctors and people wrong and show everyone your truthfulness aameen โค Don’t worry, there will always be kind people who will believe you Sis and who will hold you in their hearts forever โค

    I just wanted to point out something small but for the khair of your aakhirah (you can delete this comment afterwards if you wish), it is best to not use posts with bad words and also pictures of women because when left behind even after death they cause fitnah and also sins for the person who posted them for every person who sees them โค


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