64 ~ The aftermath ~

A 5 day delay with this post. No words needed.. lol by now you already know how much my body loves excitement & drama ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™ˆ

ใ€Š SCENE 4 ใ€‹


Are nasty brats!

Which check lung capacity by inhaling & exhaling in a certain manner guided by the Dr or physiologist.

The third conducted in under a years period. Even though it was simplified unlike the previous 2 which were extensive, I still struggled! Really struggled!

First experience related here


Second experience related here


Third experience today


*A clip is placed tightly onto the nose to prevent breathing through the nostrils*
Dr: Take; in, in, in, in, in, in, in....


Now, out, out, out, out, out, out, out

Me: Reaching a sudden halt midway.

โšช Capacity of 3,5 litres which is an “okay” leeway. But an indicator of an entire litre being down.

โšช Full ideal limit is 4,5.


Dr coaches: More, more, harder, harder…

This attempt abruptly stops at 2,5.

*Break with a nebulizer*
Then 3 more attempts, but to no avail.
Each one thereafter reached a lesser number, finally at a point – below 1 litre.
Results varied – having reduced downwards in steps.

An obvious fact & common sense that if my lungs are so heavily filled with fluid (Pulmonary Edema), they aren’t capable of a normal breath intake let alone the ideal intake due to interference of carbon dioxide removal & exchange of gases.

Trust me, I tried my utmost best to hold in further & exhale longer, but beyond a certain point, my lungs themselves failed to contain. Below 2 litres, it would beep a red dot on the machine indicating “End”.

A finger cannot be pointed at me to say that I did not put in sufficient effort & played a weak / low game as some some do.

Being unable to blow a balloon – tells enough.

The aftermath of PFT always results in angina attacks or continous angina pain on a low – medium scale due to the pressure of exertion upon a malfunctioned heart.

(Later returned home extremely exhausted beyond words & thoughts… Taking a couple of days with maximum rest to regain “my normal”.)

A container was then given to collect hemoptysis & drop off at lancet laboratory for testing.

ใ€Š SCENE 5 ใ€‹

A vague narrative here;

Dr sends me to the radiology department for a chest x-ray (CXR.)

Now, i don’t really know the truth regarding the results because they were sent directly to Dr in his room whilst we waited downstairs.

Dr then called & told dad something, to which he replied: “Oh! Is it? Really?” With a look of utter dismay.

Inquiring what are the results?

Dad: “Dr says it’s fine”.

Me: How can it be fine?

Dad: I don’t know.

Me: Does NOT make sense!

Dad remains oddly & deadly silent ending the story which instantly made my gut instinct kick in to thinking something is definitely suspicious because there’s absolutely no way a CXR will provide “normal/fine” results in the case of Pulmonary Edema which is clearly proven.

Also considering the fact that last year’s June CXR showed massive lung hyper inflation, white diffuse – infiltration & an enlarged heart.

Related here


So I’ve devised a scheme of emailing the radiology depart, requesting them to forward the results to myself.

Dad has also been hiding a bit of information from us recently & playing secret games lol.

Regarding the risks of Pulmonary Embolism I overheard his conversation with 2 friends:

“The dr was shocked & stated: anytime another clot blocks…. then finish…………it can be…. like over”

& more….

But when posing the same question to him directly:

No “nothing”. Dr is just very worried.

Without any elaboration.

Mentioned in a previous chapter – that although a letter has not been released officially, I’m a heart transplant candidate who meets the relevant criterias….but slim chances of success.

After coming into contact with another 22 year old lady who requires a heart transplant due to a genetic mutation that caused heart defects..

Realising her condition does not interlink 8-9 conditions like mines, left me spellbound, in total awe how these ๐Ÿ’™ & lungs are surviving through each day โ—โ—

Don’t be decieved โ—

More occurs inside, than the eye meets

Faith roots my feet

It sheilds me from unfading grief

Keeping peace

By virtue of being pleased.

As vagabonds, kneel

With a feeble plead

And eyes that weep.

(Wonder โ“ who reads the emotion behind each word chosen


Do these compositions just sound gibberishโ“)

A cloud of contentment cocoons the heart of a person who perseveres praying without relinquishing.

This cloud then provides resilience to exercise patience whilst awaiting it’s acceptance.

– Extract from audio by Ml Ridwaan Kajee D.B

– Phrased by @kay_born_in_may

** If anyone would like to hear this inspirational audio, kindly contact me. It’s life transforming for every person undergoing tests.

Such is the manner of fighting fiercely to prevent my life supporters being snatched away……

2 thoughts on “64 ~ The aftermath ~

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