72 ~ Deep inside ~

“It demands to be felt!”

The topic of Small Fiber Sensory Polyneuropathy – SFSPN has been covered in the initial posts…

Small Fiber nerves interlink with the Autonomic nervous system, therefore, when 1 type is affected, the other generally gets affected as well.

Remember; our nerves are parable to lines & cords of electricity that transfer & relay signals.. imperative for normal organ & muscle function.

Here I’d like to share a parody of pain describing the types associated with SFSPN & Large fiber nerve damage, by a member of the Foundation for Peripheral Neuropathy – FPN;

(For further referances & pain management meds that are god-sent blessings, please read through the beginning chapters)

The best way to raise awareness of peripheral neuropathy is to tell the story, YOUR story, of Peripheral Neuropathy.

Andy Wilcox, journalist and author, member of FPN and the MNA Support Group, shares his insights on peripheral neuropathy to help others understand the ups and downs of PN.

Here is Andy’s story:

It is Real

Deep inside, it burns,

Cutting deep as glass turns,

Into bone cutting on bone,

No solution, going home.

Feel the constriction,

This is my world, not fiction.

Gasping for new air,

Relief is nowhere.

Stabbing razors in my mind,

Cut my resolve, they bind.

Take it away I scream,

What is it, asks the team.

Bend, turn and lying down,

That smile you see is a frown,

But on the outside all you see

Is an image, a stronger me.

Is it broken, is it on fire,

Is it spasms and a cutting wire?

It is in my head, it really is,

Yet it manifests like this.

Take a step, fall to the ground,

It’s what started this go-round.

The aching should have stopped,

But, I’m learning to stay on top.

Fusing, cutting, say I’m better,

I will push even harder,

My body says it’s done,

But the pain has not won!

Our bodies may be broken,

But our hearts are open,

With prayers that you will see,

No matter what, I am still me.

The agony beneath my smile,

Is merely coping for a while,

Trying to master a new way,

And, yes, trying to stay sane.

No one sees the glass rug below,

The cracking from moving so.

My humor will be my sign,

When it’s gone, I’ve run dry.

Look deeper, in my eyes,

See the weariness, the tears I cry.

An embrace, a hand, a tear,

Share with me so this, too, I can bear.

Stay with me, I do pray,

I’m not alone at least today.

You are my foundation, my mattress,

My firm footing, my longing rest.

No matter the agony, I will stand,

Knowing they can’t see the sand,

Which I am walking against each day,

Trying to explain why it’s my pain.

Ignore that blue card in my car,

It’s not who I am, it’s not my star.

I am right here, look in my soul,

I’ll fight, even if I’m alone.

Andy Wilcox – January 2018

Canton, S.D.

Note: Andy is an MNA member

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