79 ~ Wars behind closed doors ~



A poem dedicated to a special lady.

** Clarification: This post is a tribute composed out of my own free will. I haven’t been requested to do so. I am not gaining, nor intend to gain any monetary benefit in return. A portion was drafted a while back but I waited for an opportune time to complete & publish it.

Since seeing patient leaders were highlighted in the previous chapter…

Let’s take a bit of extra time to commend & support those who own home business accompanied with the major challenges of chronic illnesses.

If you know or have a story to feature, please feel free to email me.

The blog is not solely about myself, rather to help whomsoever I can.

[ SEPTEMBER/19/2018 ]

+-2 months since after being discharged from the gruelling hospital admission. I was searching for medical indemnification bracelets.

Companies seen at the time had them only in full silver & as most readers are already aware, Im unable to wear silver jewellery for lengthy periods of time, due to the electric-like shocks small fiber sensory polyneuropathy SFSPN causes.


Somehow whilst searching for other options I happened to find her boutique on Instagram & the thought struck –

Why not inquire if she can make bracelets with beads & string that may be gentle on my skin.

Life with chronic illness is a constantly rollercoaster. We are unexpectedly thrown into different angles & positions. Some strangulating.

There is no control over the next minute, hour, day & night..

One night you’re sleeping soundly in bliss unaware it might be the last time you feel the comfort of throwing yourself onto a bed & resting flat.

Few days you’re coughing. Initially it’s dry, then it’s wet, then it’s pink, then there’s blood, then you’re in hospital.

Then you’re discharged 9 days later to experience many more

1 minute episodes….

One minute you’re relaxing & translating Arabic scripts for an upcoming student class reunion, the next minute you’re ringing the emergency bell.

Vividly recalling the day the bracelets arrived:

After a rough night with a severe “angina attack – escape hospital episode“…

Feeling every ounce of energy sucked out…
@___ added joy to my day with these beautiful ID, awareness bracelets naming each of my chronic conditions.

Wearing it 24/7 will make an emergency situation a lot easier.. The medic alert ones do not agree with my skin so these are perfect & will do the job.

Love them totally ๐Ÿ˜ & they’re so cute with a mini spoon for #spoonie, mini set of feet for #restlesslegsyndrome, mini ribbon & 4 different mini hearts for my heart conditions…

Thank you very much!!

A formal conversation regarding emergency bracelets developed into a unique bond with a lovely persona possessing the most delicate soul.

A soul that underwent more than an onlooker would ever know or gauge.

Before our bond evolved into a greater friendship, the qualities which actually attracted me was her dealings as a business woman.

โœ”๏ธAn upright, straight person

โœ”๏ธNo hassles or crookedness

โœ”๏ธExcellent customer service

โœ”๏ธIncluding courier service ๐Ÿš›

I’ve had a few different issues in the past with other courier services. She uses fastway & the cost is only R55, whereas every other one charges 99 + depending…

Reassured the bracelets up to date have not broken, in quite the same condition. Beads are of good quality & the stretch string is strong (provided no one plays & pulls it out of shape purposely. Care is essential with any item)

Searching for the ideal accessory to complement & complete an outfit or gift a special item??

At the keyboard of your phone!

Ethereal fashion boutique has them & if she does not, she most likely will put extra talents to the forefront provided its within her capabilities.

Here is the link to her online Instagram page


Facebook page


And for those living in Port Elizabeth South Africa or surrounding areas.. Please do pay her a visit at:

20 Euphorbia Street, Malabar, P.E.

๐Ÿ›’ Chains

๐Ÿ›’ Chokers

๐Ÿ›’ Bracelets

๐Ÿ’Ž A variety of glass beads, pearls..

๐Ÿ‘— Dresses

All sizes & styles

Grow with me skirts

๐Ÿ›’ Scarves

๐Ÿ›’ Kiddies outfits

Stunning for weddings or occasions

Let your little girl dress & befit the princess she is

๐Ÿ›’ Domestic workers overall sets

Sewn ๐Ÿ‘Œ

๐Ÿ›’ Keyrings

๐Ÿ›’ Charms

Jewellery is a ladies best friend & a temptation hard to resist.

Below are a few images from her vast gallery of beautiful creations.

Not the end

The intriguing part only begins…



Pastel milkshake colors

Glam up the classy way with lasting synthetic pearls



No need to second guess the fabric quality

Indonesian silk satin skirts

Sewn in free sizes!


Winter coudroy grow with me skirt

Pretty cool pink & purple summer grow with me skirt

Bracelet of choice to match

This is just soooo adorable


After being discharged from hospital I returned home more ill than admitted.

It took many weeks to “recover” from the “infection” contracted

My list consisted of

๐Ÿฅ Dreary follow ups

โžก๏ธโฌ…๏ธ Navigation โคด๏ธโคต๏ธ

โš•๏ธ Scouting for answers

๐Ÿ’Š๐Ÿ’‰ Medication – symptom management

Amid that, I had ZERO energy to think further than my eyes could see lol…

Walking ๐Ÿ‘ฃ few steps from my bedroom to the bathroom furied my heart whilst my lungs frantically entered distressed mode.

No! It was not anxiety nor panic attacks.

Later, after receiving help from my pharmacist & gaining better control over symptoms..

I wandered around searching for avenues to channel my time in;

From dark places

And crippling stages

She was aided to set changes.

For an escape of pain

Sitting on the sofa frayed

A creative foundation was layed.

Built with nothing less

Than sweltering sweat.

Meeting defeat

With falling beads

She resistently weaves.

Her tale wordlessly conveys

Construction of a rocky lane paved

And hollow end fruitfully forbade.

Once she gave me a view

Winds of motivation blew.

Story sharing is important for empowerment.

At that juncture, an understanding sunk in deeper that I too could live beyond my illnesses.

Then to rekindle artistry

I chased a teenage dream

& at an appointed time

It materialized.

Venturing down the penjoyment lane, explodes my heart with joy & excitement, yet, entails an equal share if not more payback.

So when I state that a task of writing, thinking & little whispering for a maximum period of 2 hours focus, causes such breathlessness & exhaustion that feels like I’ve momentarily landed in the jaws of death…

What is your opinion of this marvelous lady who endures fibromyalgia & endometriosis stage 4 – yet labours to uphold an extent of independence.


My test seems so small compared to yours, compared to a lot of people. I feel that I am lucky. I do know without the meds I will go back to being bedridden & never leaving the house… Not everyone understands that.

In time to come I also hope they will develop better meds, especially for the fibro. According to others who have fibro, it worsens with age although Dr’s say it’s not progressive. I’m actually getting scared.

I don’t know how you manage, our time of death is predetermined but knowing that your illness is fatal is so scary. Mine’s are not fatal but everytime I am in hospital I am worried I may not leave alive. Anything could go wrong in theatre.

My aunt passed away because the Dr mistakenly slit her bowel so she got septosemia.

I was 2 days away from that, it was a miracle survival but I was ready to die. I made peace with it. But now I am not. When you have a child it’s the scariest thing to leave them, especially knowing that no one will look after them the way a mom can.

She is my miracle baby. It’s only because of her that I am pulling through. There is a reason to get out of bed & to make myself feel better.

I know that is why she was given to me, more so when my Dr said it’s impossible for me to fall pregnant naturally. Cannot believe I did with the endo being so far advanced.

He himself said it is a miracle from God.

After my endometriosis operations, the 2 years after killed me. I was dead but alive. Merely surviving. A lump sitting on the couch. Getting up was a huge effort, showering was a nightmare.

Like every part of my body was enclosed in tons of metal. I could never sleep, maximum 3 to 4 hours & that’s how my business started. I needed to do something even though I was in pain, so while everyone was sleeping I would be awake making things. It was painful but I was so excited to see the end result that I would push the pain aside & let it crash me later.

Things do slide out of my hands & I get so annoyed it makes me irritable for the day. Recently I was making an order, everytime I got to the end & ready to close it, it slipped & all the beads were on the floor. It happened 3x so my frustration levels were at peak.

I usually don’t do anything during flares but this was already paid for so I wanted to get it done & send it. I don’t like making customers wait too long once they paid, especially when I don’t know what my body would be like & having to go into hospital at any time.

Doing something for yourself, Thereafter seeing the results makes living more bearable, knowing that you accomplished something & not totally useless.

Hence, the title of this chapter;

Wars behind closed doors ๐Ÿ 

The gallery was shown first, but prior to reading snippets of her story, no one would have a clue regarding the circumstances & challenges dealt with.

When a customer – OooOs & WoWs

Know, there were many Aaaahs on the workers side.

Today, I say to my courageous confidante, who planted seeds unaware how many miles further the flowers would reach ๐Ÿฅ€

You are a definition of inspiration ๐Ÿ‘

We are here to follow the trail you’ve stepped, that has lead me to generating dormant capabilities ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’–

Thank you for being you

& thank you for sharing your story with us. I am honored!

May your income prosper with unimagined blessings.

A noteworthy point: Sharing our vulnerabilities is NOT a sign of weakness. Instead, necessitates bravery & makes space for latent abilities.

2 thoughts on “79 ~ Wars behind closed doors ~

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