83 ~ Evaluate what they state ~

Before resuming hospital chronicles.. A few aspects need to be adddressed:

1) I try my utmost best to keep posts to the point. If a lengthy incident requires a lot of details, sometimes I break it up in half so it becomes easier for readers to absorb the information.

An example is chapter 63 & 64. It was 1 appointment, but to do justice in explaining all the necessary details, it was broken into 2 posts.

If it is an incident far in the past, the extra details are scrapped out & 1 post is composed so as not to dwell on it for too long, drag the events, & make it a bore in the interim.

Come to think of it, I’ve typed 82 chapters of a 15 month journey, including current episodes.

82 out of 15 months + is quite a little right?

If a reader is able to ascertain the dozens of reasons I made (& mentioned) for the hospital memoir series, an applaud to you!!

Like mentioned in the previous post, I don’t look back at the past, except to derive morals & relate for the same purpose.

If most of what transpired back then is not explained, readers would not understand what is to come in future posts & why I am, where I am currently.

Also, people would remain unaware regarding the true state of our public hospitals & the types of service delivered.

Its not a hunky dory story, once continued ahead.. Readers will gauge what a kind of vicious cycle it was. Destruction vs construction.

Whoever wishes to understand everything in sequence, a little patience is required for the chapters to be related from July – November 2017.

Our holy book, repeatedly makes mention of past nations & times. Why? For us to take heed.

Likewise; we’re collecting past experiences multiple reasons.


2) As far as medical explanations & terminology is concerned:

My aim is to raise awareness for support, better treatments, sharing opinions, etc. I’ve made note of this point a “zillion” times.

If those parts are found “boring”, I won’t be apologizing for the need of the hour. For clearing the overall lack of neurological knowledge we have to deal with in gauteng.

It does not fall under the category of defying constructive criticism.

If someone knows “simpler” methods than the ones I’ve done, you could kindly share. It will be graciously accepted if mines are considered too complicated.

After all, we’re living with complicated bodies, can everything expected to be easy?

I honestly give the most concise & summarized versions of medical explanations. Analogies are simplified to my utmost best. Lengthy theories are quite seldom.

Excluding medical explanations defeats the entire purpose of the blog.

Random examples:

To explain dys-auto-nomia, I’ve said:

The bundle of nerves that control automatic (involuntary) organ function are called autonomic. When the autonomic nervous system becomes dysfunctional, it is called dys-auto-nomia.

Anything difficult to understand?

To explain Pulmonary Edema I’ve said: in my case, the heart is unable to pump efficiently, pressure therefrom causes fluid to leak from the veins, in turn, backing up in the lungs, interfering with exchange of gas & carbon dioxide.

Anything difficult to understand?

Congestive heart failure (CHF) ive explained in the most simple terminology as a Dr related to me. I could have went into lengthy details but didn’t want to complicate things.

Shortness of breath stemming from CHF is titled Dyspnoea, has different sub-categories & types.

Anything difficult to understand?

If there is an illness that still remains vague, kindly enlighten me & it will be addressed again.


3) “She only talks about her illnesses”

A great scholar advised: Do not unnecessarily make yourself a target of the envied eye.

Social media helps people with disabilities to live, communicate, connect, learn, support, empower, and maintain a social life, when used with meaningful purpose, discipline & limits.

Yet, in certain ways it makes people enviable of others lives “because everything on certain accounts seem so perfect”. Lives are compared & as a result, ingratitude is expressed.

However, everything I post on the blog or else where, is about the dire need for chronic illness awareness & all its aspects. I am honest and transparent about the highs, lows and do not only share my good moments.

The posts regarding my illnesses are only a fraction of what fully occurs on a daily basis. At home, as well as on chats, my day seldom and barely revolves around speaking about how sick I feel, unless I’m in an extreme emergency situation and forced to do so.

I do not post about every single event in my life. Where I went. What I done. What I ate. What I wore. What I bought, etc. That is not the object. I’m not here to exhibit a public display with regards to my personal life. It remains private & confidential..

Just because we don’t share it on social media doesn’t mean we’re not up to big things. I prefer to live those moments and stay low key. Privacy and time is everything.

(⚠️ Please note: I am also not being judgemental of anyone who does so. Other people’s lives are not my business lol. I am simply doing as I feel)

Motto: Compose & post for virtous purposes.

On the blog, my posts are not to bash or shame people. I’ve never mentioned names of the Dr’s who treated me in a disgraceful manner because I don’t intend to humiliate anyone. Not to the extent of giving an indication either.

Few names were mentioned to give credit to good, sincere Dr’s who go all out in helping their patients. The ones who deserve recognition.

There are reasons for the things I do, which up to now, haven’t seen a need to explain, but since feedback came in, it required clarification.

Constructive criticism is always welcomed. Firstly, being human & as a former hifdh teacher, I am not infallible & erred as well. However, when corrected, the issue or argument was accepted if it held valid grounds.

Constructive criticism broadens the space for progress & growth. Being defensive & closed to recieving suggestions narrows this space altogether.

But, we should also sift feedback. If theres a portion of benefit, keep aside for usage & discard the rest. Evaluate the weight of criticism.

Sometimes it’s not worthy paying attention to certain things, more so, when we’re chronically ill. See which comments are worth your time, then move on. Please dont let people deter you from your aim.

Some individuals can be critical & negative about almost everything, so more harm will be done if they’re taken too serious.

Remember, not everyone will understand your journey & that’s fine because it’s exclusively layed out for you. So keep on doing what’s best for you. Keep on following the route where your soul finds fulfillment and peace.

Also explained in the beginning of the blog

https://kayborninmay.wordpress.com/2017/11/19/a-new-movie-episode/

My aim is not to have tons of followers. If a difference has been made to the life of 1 person or a person who has an ill family member & is thus reading to understand our coping mechanisms, then aim attained.

I am not directing this to a particular person nor do I mean to be harsh or offensive. On a general note, if the blog is not your cup of tea, simply don’t drink.

Unsubscribe or request to unfollow.

No compulsion on anyone to read & there will be no offence taken.

I am the type of person, if someone close to me is ill, I’d want to learn about their condition in order to be a pillar of support. Do’s, donts etc.

On a general note once again,

If we don’t make an effort to learn the condition of a family member of friend who has a chronic illness, for sure, we have failed them.

All praises to the Almighty for being blessed with rare people who care to understand & continue the ripple effects… Hope I don’t fall short of doing the same to those who depend on me.

Much appreciation to each of you

Feedback remains open🌷🌻


I laughed & they said: can’t you be modest?

I cried & they said: why don’t you smile?

I smiled & they said: he’s a show off.

I frowned & they said: I started showing my true colors.

I was silent & they said I had a feeble tongue

When I spoke, they said I was too talkative.

When I was tolerant they called it cowardice & said: had I been brave, I would have taken revenge.

When I showed up some courage, they said: it was rash & wreck less. And I wouldn’t have behaved if I were balanced.

When I said no, they considered me odd.

When I agreed with them, they called me a blind follower.

So it became certain, no matter how I try, pleasing people will bring nothing but criticism.

– Poem by Imaam Shaafi’ee. May peace be upon his soul.

(Unsure how authentic the referral to him is. Haven’t seen it in the compilation of his poetry)

This poem will truly be appreciated by listening to the beautiful rhyming Arabic lyrics.

https://youtu.be/k99Z7nRmXq8

Aim to please the creator of mankind. In turn he will automatically place ceaseless love for you in the hearts of those who can fathom and appreciate your worth.

12 Comments Add yours

  1. Great post … I don’t understand how people can criticise,
    Personally I feel, u doing an amazing job,
    May Allah take this blog from strength to even more strength,
    And May He grant us the opportunity of learning much more and appreciate how perfectly fine bodies ..آٰمين

    ..even the fact we can breathe for hrs on end, do cardios easily, something I’ve never appreciated until I found out about CHF

    Allah knows the intention it was started with,
    So He will keep u going strong Insha Allah

    I Appreciate

    Every experience
    And even every word ~’complicated’or simple …
    Always ready to learn (even if I pronounce it all wrong)

    Keep it up sister,
    Love you only, souly and solely )
    ♥For Allah

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Binti Mahmood says:

      I totally second this comment❤💙💖

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Jazakillah Khair. Your help with many “aspects” is stored here 💛💜💚💙❤️🖤🧡

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Binti Mahmood says:

        Aameen❤💙💚💜💛💝💞

        Liked by 2 people

    2. جزاك الله خيرا احسن الجزاء في الدارين sister for your sincere support that is truly felt so deep 💙.

      I don’t understand myself, it’s mind boggling. The first issue was that posts are too long, whereas very few exceed 1200 characters, some are even 800 or usually just 1000 which is the average length a post should consist of, when I volunteered to write an article for other blogs, the request is always to keep it at 1000 characters max, or just under that count.

      The other issue was why I’m delving so much into the past… Because people can’t keep up, Ive given enough reasons previously for that & anyways then what’s the point of telling a story as well?!

      Then the issue was people find the medical explanations boring, simple minds can’t keep up with it…so I addressed that. And I also feel whoever has a will, will find a way. How did we learn in school? How did those same people study? Do they consider their intelligence low? I think its rather a matter of not wanting to apply their minds.

      Also many who are reading are living in countries where knowledge & expertise regarding dysautonomia etc is limited. The little explanations provided helps them understand better.

      It can’t be expected that I should exclude my chronically ill fellow followers & only post according to normal peoples wants.

      The other issue was not to post personal issues? I don’t know what’s their definition of personal..

      Once there was an issue of a post coming across as “too negative” because of a bit of an emotional ride that occured during that appointment.

      It didn’t make sense because if that was exactly how it happened & how I felt, why am I supposed to write contrary. I’m human & have feelings.

      Truly these types of “good criticism” have no basis.
      I don’t know what the next issue will be, LOL, maybe being “too positive” haha.

      The annoying part was, instead of telling me straight, some talk about it behind my back. Thanks for giving me extra good deeds. I sure need it. Lol.

      I really appreciate ALL your beautiful duaas, Aameen, Aameen to each one.
      Your willingness to learn is definitely an admirable characteristic. May the Almighty increase it & use your fervor for the service of our ummah.

      No worries, about the pronunciation, initiakly it took me a many days on end to get the words rolling off my tongue correctly. I would even tell it to people wrong. Laugh.

      May you be rewarded with the best of both worlds for your immense support always 💕💙

      احبك الذي احببتني له، و احبك في الله أيضا. Such a lovely way of saying it ~souly & solely)

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Aameen aameen 💙

    I think a really important lesson is put out there ..
    You really can NEVER please people ..
    Don’t fret about pleasing, sometimes you just hafta do what you hafta and seek help from Allah whilst, and carry on

    “Tooo long” post …
    *Rolling my eyes*(I hardly do that, it hasta be something that’s REALLY pissing for me to even think of doing such a thing)

    Come aaannn … When i get to the end of most your posts,
    I’m like arghh … Talk some more, talk some more

    Alhumdulillah you have my attention right through the post, (and I have a very short attention span too)
    So .. donno about those who find it “boring”
    I guess WordPress is generally used for “stories”
    That are majority of the time fictional drama that’s out their to please the reader
    (in the end of it all if nt right through the story l)
    So I guess reality makes some “bored”
    Well I guess they’ve only been in reality and now it’s not very interesting ✋✋
    , but Allah knows best

    Delving in the past,
    How are we sppse to read experiences if you aren’t gna do that???????????
    And besides we all sppse to go DEEP into the past
    And take lessons from our mistakes,
    Improve ourselves
    Cz really of we just going to worry about the present and the future, we really not going think of reforming OURSELVES, and even making the taubah we so need to make…

    Medical explanations boring ..
    I wish people realise the importance of these things before they pushed into a situation where theyd only be doing medical research (for themselves)
    May Allah save us, may Allah save us all

    Khuda, I wish things were actually boring for me,
    So then id have time to read more of your post I’ve misssed in between💙
    You really explain medical terms better than a doctor, I love it
    Very much more understandable

    “Tooo negative” -D
    Gta be KIDDING …
    That’s the last thing I thought youd be “criticised” about ..
    But, i guess people have different definitions
    (of even boring too)
    Yess ..haha next post will be too optimistic
    -_-

    May Allah accept all your beautiful Duas
    (Also I absolutely love how you so freely given Duas out(ok that won’t be the perfect way rather its very well presented, with so much of love)

    Ohhh pronunciation … Worst fear with siblingssssss,
    I just say ..umm that thing with a “D” something
    Orrr say it wrong and be teased for life
    (I said shoe scene [a shop] once when I was much smaller, problem was I pronounced the “C” and till today I’m teases if I even correct wrong pronunciation {nicely , not in a teasing way}
    *Fake wail*

    May Allah really accept all your Duas for me …
    Really makes me emotional
    Jazakillah so much,
    Truly an inspiration ♥
    ..to someone who isn’t inspired much

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Maaf I’m.nt done yet ..
    Those last lines ..👌👌👌
    Masha Allah
    Just perfect completion of the lost .. Alhumdulillah💙

    Liked by 2 people

  4. oceanus868 says:

    I love the poetry you mentioned,it’s been made into a nasjeed as well..so soothing n so profound❤
    Forget what people say ukhti. It’s YOUR blog so write it YOUR way. People will never be pleased so focus on pleasing Allah alone. And know that there are people like us out there who truly love your writing❤ focus on the supporters,forget about the haters.. all the best. Take care!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I absolutely LOVE the nasheed. Jazakillah khair for reminding me, forgot to attach the link here. I appreciate it.

      Yessss, I am SO DONE with what anyone says. I’ve always been open to suggestions, but now I’ve learnt when it comes to dealing with a blog, things are different, u just gotta do it YOUR way. Jazakillah khair as always for being a great & kind supporter. It means A LOT to me, more than I can say 💖💕💙.

      And my honest prayers always with your writing too!!!!

      Liked by 2 people

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