< FOUR >
Elaborated in the chapter titled Greater Schemes.. I belong to an immediate circus of 31 – parents, siblings, brother in laws, sister in laws, nephews & nieces *laugh*.
Previous posts repeatedly highlighted the important effect family back up has on a chronically ill member.
Apart from immediate family members supporting us, I notice the impact extended family support has on the ones closest to us as well.
When young, sometimes, we gain support more easily. Not always. Remember that.
I’ve observed many young ones being pushed away from their own parents & closest family members due to Dr’s dismissal of “it’s all in their heads.”
Then denied disability benefits & struggle to keep a bare roof over their heads let alone incur further expenses.
An unacceptable norm & broader discussion for another time.
Recently chatted to a friend abroad (who is living in dire circumstances) by the way she jokingly laughed off 1 statement but I felt the intense pain behind..“I wish I could afford a simple pair of socks let alone barley..” 💔
The point here to drive home: Family support is a treasure beyond measure.
Many living with chronic disease during their mid 50’s onwards are deserted & ditched.
Frail parents suffer alone with the burden of medical expenses, no one to advocate on their behalf..
Children lead their own lives, seldom bother to check in, or not at all.To some, this may sound foreign or alien.. But unfortunately it occurs more often than desired. We tend to turn a blind eye.
Being housebound with the restrictions enforced by my organs, I very well know the difference it makes when someone slows down a few minutes in the rat race of life to message or spend some time with us – (In my case without the pressure of talking)
As is said: Some hearts understand each other even in silence. We don’t always feel at our best, certain days drag us down, but having the distraction of uplifting company, seeing another cheerful face or hearing the delighted giggles & banter of nieces, nephews cousins, aunts, uncles, or whomsoever it may be, enlivens the entire atmosphere & recharges us to pull through rough days ahead.
Family members who provide unlimited support will gain the greatest of rewards
This is the time we realise who is true to us.
A friend who does not jump on the bandwagon of labeling us “attention seekers”, “psychosomatic individuals” etc..
On another note; I often tease my buddies saying, where on earth did you befriend this “physcho” girl? Out of all other sane people in the WORLD. LOL.
A friend who believes in your inner strength & cheers you on
A friend who does not become upset when we suddenly have to change plans
A friend who never gives up on us due to the new, minute-changing lifestyle we now lead
A friend who notices when you’re too silent knowing something is amiss
A friend who shares awareness of chronic conditions to spread kindness
The positive difference being created in the world by spreading awareness is underestimated.
A friend who wears colors to signify our diseases
A friend who reminds us that we are never “alone”
A friend who reminds us it is okay to fail & score in order to succeed
A friend who cooks according to our “dietery” needs
(Gastroparesis & other stomach conditions included)
A friend who patiently listens to all our random rants sparing any “lectures”
A friend who laughs with you over the the lame jokes you make out of your diseases to lighten the situation
A friend who sends inspirational, perspective changing audios
If I have to continue mentioning specific points, the list will never end. However I highlight these for normal people to understand how to support others in simple avenues.
To the friends living afar in the same country of SA & those abroad
For the friends from health or the unique links initiated by chronic illness
From class 1 until the termination of my studies in 2012.
Visits, thoughtful messages & notes stuck in my cupboard as daily reminders *smile*
Mentors who advised, guided & moulded me into a combination of the person I am
Selfless individuals who equipped me with knowledge & skills so I can contribute to society on various levels
I would not be here without the sincere role each one played in my lifeSome refer towards their job as: “oh just teachers”
But in my sight they are societies foremost leaders
Because their endeavors produce great future contributors
Behind each great scientist, pharmacist, neurologist, rheumatologist, psychologist, cardiologist, pulmonologist & specialists in whichever field..Are teachers!!!
Who visited from the onset of my illnesses
Students who visited whilst in hospital
Students who visited after I was discharged & up to date continue visiting
Students who read these posts
Students who brought lovely bunches of roses, flowers & tulips 😍🌷
A student who read my gardening post & gifted a cute bicycle planter
A student who stood a stall for me on their entrepreneurship day
A connection formed during 3 years with 1 class is special ❣️
And of course I have to include their wonderful mums who steer them around, remain in contact & have not forgotten me after 3 years of no longer being a part of their kids lives…