Crestfallen, the appointment concluded
We returned home as evening unfolded
Blazed anger smoked my senses
Thickness obscured the outlook
A devil added his mass of fuel
“That attack should’ve claimed my life, it wouldnt have made a difference anyway, most (in my experiences) are apathetic”
Albeit, the will to live stored in my core, concurrently protested at its highest pitch
As I still am
I desire to experience more of the newfound blessings along this course…….
To beat this defeat is a hard task
But with divine aid
I refuse to let it dim my will
And a friends compassionate tone heard from a concise yet extensive message replayed
“Only he knows and only he will guide. Keep faith always sweet Khadija”
As if she had earlier sensed the outcome
(Sometimes a person encourages another, but it comes across as a light dismissal of a weighty issue, or more of a command & does not have a fraction of the intended effect)
I opened Instagram to send a message & this image smacked me in the face
“The most powerful thing you can do right now is to be patient while things are unfolding for you”
In chapter 80 I mentioned
Universal signs scattered everywhere
Affectionate awakenings in each tear.
& as trials descend,
He is always there
To help us fare.
Via an array of people & things.
If you hadn’t deciphered the code of the first 2 couplets, this is it.
Queries are also often sent in by others dealing with their chronic members or friends:
“Is it possible to make her feel better”
“How do I hold my friend or family members hand through such & such a time?”
(Should I compile a list?
Let me know your thoughts!)
In the meantime this one beautiful method co-incides with the topic & illustrates how you can become a God sent mending icon to a melting iron
An idea how to rekindle an extinguished spirit
< Late that night, whatsapp beeps >
Extracted convo 1:
F: I know you must be absolutely exhausted and won’t see this message now, but not a moment passed today that you were not on my mind or in my duaas🤗
F: May the Almighty grant you complete well being, ease, all the strength you need and always be pleased with you💗
I hope that your appointment went fine…
Whenever I felt too drained or exhausted to carry on I thought of…………
K: You were sent to paint a rainbow for me today🌈🌈
F: You don’t know how happy I am to know that you’ve seen my message now!
K: You don’t know how ecstatic I am to read such a lovely message!!!!!!!!
My heart sank & I crushed instantly the dr blamed “me” for the downfall… A lesser blow than before… Because I’ve been molded into being rejected.. But of course it still hurts
I thought of how isolated I am in terms of minimum help.. Then my mind immediately went to “…….”
& I reminded myself, it will take time for these feelings to pass…
But once it does i will be grateful I didn’t give up, like how I was assisted to persist those previous times & thereafter experienced the best of happiness
Apt as that quotation – Loves u haven’t loved, lights you haven’t felt etc….
K: This time also, I know more will be sent forth in unimaginable ways
I will never be forsaken & failed by the 1 above even if the rest of the world does
Extracted convo 2:
A: (sends beautiful video of motivation)
K: Oh Lord 😭 you have noooooo idea how much I needed this reminder
K: I needed to hear the reminder that I am not “alone” – in that sense
I am habitual of silently communicating with my creator anywhere, anytime, whatever I feel.
As Prophet Noah & the others (Peace be upon them) expressed their laments..
An example for us.
So just earlier I repeated:
“Its only me & you
No one else can do”
K: The appointment was such a downer
K: But coming to think of it
“Only me & you”
How beautiful doesn’t it feel, let alone sound
A:Eyyy I hope I’m not keeping you up here🙈🙈
K: Not at all
K: As exhausted as I am…
K: I can’t sleep
K: Like need to unwind from the whole days……..
A: Sleep with a clear mind = better sleep….
My mind trailed back
Everything was too fresh
I felt those poisonous words being poured
A slow peril to death it could’ve caused
Then I searched & observed this heart pound
The originated reason to continue was found
Split but not quit, I reaffirmed my dispirited pledge
Even if it meant clinging onto a tattered edge
No avoidance of the darkness, but through
I waged a heavy battle to perceive the actual view
Against a mind refuting what the hearts recesses knew
My entire being was made to reel
Nonetheless I toiled with depleted zeal
A tedious travail to detect the inconceivable
Against the vapid sky, twinkled the signal
– I dictated no back up to teach
Your hand should seek my reach
I’ve prevented succor
To hear your voice more –
An enveloping gush of solace
Followed upstream chaos
Whirled into enjoyment
I exclaimed: How wonderful?!
& promptly became cheerful
A saga considered painful
Later made me grateful
Submitting to the ultimate control
Patched together every gaped hole
Quicker than imagined I began to heal
From the dolour I was made to feel
The wondrous flame of faith
Stepped afore to extricate.
His presence suffices
He will deliver justice
Who else is better to handle this matter
Other than 1 who possesses total power
“So endure with a beautiful patience”
At an opportune time, there will arrive assistance
For now I’ve flung these grievances aside
And trek the lead onto a mysterious ride
If I clutch onto an extra load of garbage
None but myself will turn into a wreckage
Time is irreplaceable so I let go
Slowly moved on with the flow
Turmoil that once arose high, died
And sought peace again revived
From the storms he has brought
Ask, what am I being taught?
A life changing question
To change our perception