Written at the oceanfront
When the seas become dark
And your surroundings are stark
When the tides turn icy cold
And you can no longer hold
When boisterous waves crash
And you tumble with its lash
When the thunderbolts roar
And the clouds send a downpour
When circumstances are bleak
And your body has become weak
On cue, your faithful one’s will arrive
And plunge in deep waters to help you survive
A treasured few
Always remain true
Lifeguards to the rescue
Moonlight do they imbue
Attach like impenetrable glue
Cannot be reciprocated in full due
Nor traded for anything else in lieu
After days of staring at this draft with strewn thoughts, disconnected ends, a blank mind and writers block despite having so much to say!
Here is a long overdue note of appreciation to my entire crew, rare pear, and every single person out there who spurred me on to write when I became discouraged.
To all of you who willingly set aside special time to read the Shattered Dream series
To all of you who tapped on the link without hesitation
To all of you who plucked up courage to read in spite of a less appealing heading
To all of you who anticipated posts irrespective of a woeful or enticing story line
To all of you who selflessly shared the weight to lighten my shoulders
To all of you, the aforementioned people;
A round of applause and huge thank you! May the Almighty reward you tremendously on my behalf.
It might seem like what’s the big deal. But for those of us in the chronic illness community, little things are big. Every action counts. It creates ripple effects.
Midway through the series I recieved unsurprising reactions such as..
“I didn’t want to read something that sounded like a melancholic tale”
Well, you never know what benefit you could’ve gained from reading one but after some serious consideration, I decided that I will not be apologetic about the title nor will I change it. My reasons behind remain. People who’ve had similar medical dreams crushed, gain comfort in knowing they’re not isolated.
It is like it is. An accurate description of passed phases.
Initially I had no inclination to share these phases of my journey because the subjection of disbelief was expected to extend & I didn’t have energy to deal with additional drama. However after a considerable amount of time when the healing process commenced, I felt a strong urge to let it out for several reasons and was encouraged to do so at my own pace.
Although its the real and raw truth as mentioned previously, it wasn’t an easy story to compose because the pieces were just as the title describes. Dreams. Shattered & scattered. All over. I lost count of the hours and days and spent in gathering the pieces and constructing them into something completely anew.
The title was chosen after contemplating what would be an apt description of the journey in its course of time.
Shattered dreams or chronicles of survival?
Although both were suitable, my heart inclined towards the first because its an apt description of all that transpired. I did not want to sugarcoat the title. They’re a mixture of everything from which the broader part of society tends to shame and shy away.
(Chronicles of survival are reserved for another series, God willing)
This specific title applies to other people in various modes. Dreams are shattered in the form of sudden death, news of a terminal illness, tragedy of some sort, or for us when consulting a new Dr with a long term of invested hope, only for it to evaporate. We cannot compare our pain but we can relate on different levels.
My intention was to illustrate; when your aspirations are smashed it seems like your world has terminated.
But it still continues.
It seems like too much to bear but he only afflicts us with an amount we can handle.
So you can do it even when you think you can’t
Even if for a while you do nothing, allow yourself grace
Your spirit may be periodically crushed, but strength is embedded deep within your core
If not now, some time later it will return you once again to the frontline of your war
With divine assistance you have the ability to pick up the shattered pieces of your dreams and redesign them into a striking artwork.
When you are ready.
It might not seem appealing but a desire will later be evoked and afterwards you will find yourself looking back with admiration at how far you’ve come.
Do not be ashamed of falling apart or crashing however many times it be, you’re entitled.
Aren’t we enthralled by the glory of a waterfall as it cascades?
Is the beauty of the ocean not enhanced by crashing waves?
Likewise; loosing some light doesn’t decrease your worth as a human being. In actual fact, it multiplies.
Each time you fall below and resurface
Your soul is filled with greater purpose
After all, at some point in time
Al-Wahhaab – The bestower / gifter
Will bestow upon you a gift, different from what was taken
In preference to all your hopes and dreams that were broken
Some of my dreams were broken
While others were beautifully built
So continue to establish a trust with the director of life
Who plans incomprehensible details, so precise.
I may not fully understand why shattered dreams happened
Or why some lives are thrown upside-down in a split second
I may not fully comprehend the irony of a mysterious fate
But I trust; other types of blessings and ease surely await.
Because he knows everything while you do not, is my reply
When the mind scrambles onto the search for a why
Every single answer does not have to be shown for me to understand
Because I have never emerged empty-handed from all he planned
Self-love, growth, purpose, and ambitions were further instilled
Through the wild of it all a life reclaimed keeps me fulfilled
So take your time to accept what was meant to be
Building hope better adventures lay ahead to see
Yes! Few points I cannot exclude and have to profess
It has been a lengthy, messy, healing process
From general phases of “I’m fine, the story is done and over”
To flashbacks of “I wonder why those dreams took a turnover”
In all honesty I wished death several times because some periods were so hard
They beat the life out of my body until it became tattered, worn-out, and scarred
But at the end I am happy for being safeguarded from unknown dangers in between
My soul believes and has reached full peace with the hidden wonders of the unseen
It’s time we bid you a bittersweet farewell oh mysterious fate
Soon after your hard-fought time, double ease will effectuate
سيجعل الله بعد عسر يسرا
𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐬
𝐎𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬
I’ve attached a beautiful collection of quotes that were sent to me as a means of encouragement and affirmation during the aftermath.
These quotes may benefit others so I included them in here with the intention you can perhaps share them onwards to someone and continue the chain of uplifment)