164 ~ Shattered dreams – Epilogue ~

Written at the oceanfront

When the seas become darkAnd your surroundings are starkWhen the tides turn icy cold And you can no longer holdWhen boisterous waves crashAnd you tumble with its lashWhen the thunderbolts roarAnd the clouds send a downpourWhen circumstances are bleak And your body has become weakOn cue, your faithful one’s will arriveAnd plunge in deep waters to help you survive ***Kay’s crewA treasured fewAlways remain true Lifeguards to the rescue Moonlight do they imbueAttach like impenetrable glue Cannot be reciprocated in full due Nor traded for anything else in lieuAfter days of staring at this draft with strewn thoughts, disconnected ends, a blank mind and writers block despite having so much to say!Here is a long overdue note of appreciation to my entire crew, rare pear, and every single person out there who spurred me on to write when I became discouraged.To all of you who willingly set aside special time to read the Shattered Dream seriesTo all of you who tapped on the link without hesitationTo all of you who plucked up courage to read in spite of a less appealing headingTo all of you who anticipated posts irrespective of a woeful or enticing story lineTo all of you who selflessly shared the weight to lighten my shouldersTo all of you, the aforementioned people;A round of applause and huge thank you! May the Almighty reward you tremendously on my behalf.It might seem like what’s the big deal. But for those of us in the chronic illness community, little things are big. Every action counts. It creates ripple effects.Midway through the series I recieved unsurprising reactions such as..“I didn’t want to read something that sounded like a melancholic tale”Well, you never know what benefit you could’ve gained from reading one but after some serious consideration, I decided that I will not be apologetic about the title nor will I change it. My reasons behind remain. People who’ve had similar medical dreams crushed, gain comfort in knowing they’re not isolated.It is like it is. An accurate description of passed phases.Initially I had no inclination to share these phases of my journey because the subjection of disbelief was expected to extend & I didn’t have energy to deal with additional drama. However after a considerable amount of time when the healing process commenced, I felt a strong urge to let it out for several reasons and was encouraged to do so at my own pace.Although its the real and raw truth as mentioned previously, it wasn’t an easy story to compose because the pieces were just as the title describes. Dreams. Shattered & scattered. All over. I lost count of the hours and days and spent gathering the pieces and constructing them into something completely anew.The title was chosen after contemplating what would be an apt description of the journey in its course of time.Shattered dreams or chronicles of survival?Although both were suitable, my heart inclined towards the first because it’s an apt description of all that transpired. I did not want to sugarcoat the title. They’re a mixture of everything from which the broader part of society tends to shame and shy away.(Chronicles of survival are reserved for another series, God willing)This specific title applies to other people in various modes. Dreams are shattered in the form of sudden death, news of a terminal illness, the tragedy of some sort, or for us when consulting a new Dr with a long term of invested hope, only for it to evaporate. We cannot compare our pain but we can relate on different levels.I intended to illustrate; when your aspirations are smashed it seems like your world has terminated.But it continues.It seems like too much to bear but he only afflicts us with an amount we can handle.So you can do it even when you think you can’tEven if for a while you do nothing, allow yourself graceYour spirit may be periodically crushed, but strength is embedded deep within your coreIf not now, sometime later it will return you once again to the frontline of your war With divine assistance, you can pick up the shattered pieces of your dreams and redesign them into striking artwork.When you are ready.It might not seem appealing but a desire will later be evoked and afterward, you will find yourself looking back with admiration at how far you’ve come.Remember #wegotdysDo not be ashamed of falling apart or crashing however many times it be, you’re entitled.Aren’t we enthralled by the glory of a waterfall as it cascades? Is the beauty of the ocean not enhanced by crashing waves?Likewise; losing some light doesn’t decrease your worth as a human being. It multiplies.Each time you fall below and resurfaceYour soul is filled with greater purpose After all, at some point in timeAl-Wahhab – The bestower/gifterWill bestow upon you a gift, different from what was takenIn preference to all your hopes and dreams that were broken

Upon oathSome of my dreams were brokenWhile others were beautifully builtSo continue to establish a trust with the director of lifeWho plans incomprehensible details, so precise.

Added: 03/07/2020

I may not fully understand why shattered dreams happenedOr why some lives are thrown upside-down in a split secondI may not fully comprehend the irony of a mysterious fateBut I trust; other types of blessings and ease surely await.Because he knows everything while you do not, is my replyWhen the mind scrambles onto the search for a why

Know this

Every single answer does not have to be shown for me to understandBecause I have never emerged empty-handed from all he plannedSelf-love, growth, purpose, and ambitions were further instilledThrough the wild of it all, a life reclaimed keeps me fulfilledSo take your time to accept what was meant to beBuilding hope better adventures lay ahead to seeYes! Few points I cannot exclude and have to professIt has been a lengthy, messy, healing processFrom general phases of “I’m fine, the story is done and over”To flashbacks of “I wonder why those dreams took a turnover”In all honesty, I wished for death several times because some periods were so hardThey beat the life out of my body until it became tattered, worn-out, and scarredBut in the end, I am happy for being safeguarded from unknown dangers in betweenMy soul believes and has reached full peace with the hidden wonders of the unseenIt’s time we bid you a bittersweet farewell oh mysterious fateSoon after your hard-fought time, double ease will effectuateسيجعل الله بعد عسر يسرا𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐬𝐎𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬

(Note:I’ve attached a beautiful collection of quotes that were sent to me as a means of encouragement and affirmation during the aftermath.These quotes may benefit others so I included them in here with the intention you can perhaps share them onwards with someone and continue the chain of upliftment)

13 thoughts on “164 ~ Shattered dreams – Epilogue ~

  1. You know what. I love a melancholic tale. And whatever people may tell you, keep believing that you will be the sun.
    You will shine through and eventually, when the storm does pass… like it always does… that will be your time. You are the sun. Even the sun has days when it wants to hide away. But what’s important is how we recognize that no matter what, this is life, and there are clouds and there’s rain… but despite it all… we persevere… only with Him in our heart.
    Beautiful poetry as always ❤️

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Subhanallah.. Luvvvv the lesson you present across sister 🌻☀️
      Visualizing the scenes as I’m reading through your words Masha-Allah 💞

      Aameen. Jazakillah khair for the motivation. Yessss, I toooo like those type of tales because that’s called REAL LIFE. Especially the ones you have to tell us 🏆

      I get tired seeing sugar coated, “picture perfects” everywhere we turn.. Life is all about the storms and what we can take from it. Perfection is reserved only for Jannah.

      (Maaf i also tried commenting couple of times on your beautiful posts, but no clue why the comment doesn’t show up 🙈🙈. Could it be an error on my side by any chance? It shows “your comment” posted. But the comment doesn’t appear. Then doesnt allow me to post it again 🤦‍♀️)

      Liked by 2 people

      1. My goodness… dear sis… JazakAllah for letting me know. I just checked my spam queue and I had about 60 waiting of which at least 10% was not spam. I’ve loaded your comments, and plz make Maaf about that.. I need to check my spam queue more often ❤️
        Btw you are so right about the sugar coating. We definitely need a reality check now and then that reminds us about life… and how we are out here to build our aakhirat 💙

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Sister, your journey might be melancholic for some but it was also a story of hope for others as you showed them in each post that no matter what happens always remember someone above (Allaah) is looking out for you and your suffering is never in vain🌷🌷

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Aaaah jazakillah khair 💞
      It gladdens me that people can see the light for which I search, obtain and share 🌻

      Also gladdens me to know people understand the messages i try my utmost best to present..

      A striking sentence there:
      ~ That no matter what happens always remember someone above “is looking out for you”… ~
      💯 💐
      الحمد لله

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Your beautiful quotes bring comfort to my heart❤️ We each get tested in this world, in different ways but with the same goal of attaining Jannah inshallah. May you be rewarded with the best of rewards for your courage, strength & strong faith.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Jazakillah khair 💐
      So true my sister 💙💖
      He also tests us by his mercy when he knows our deeds are insufficient to grant us the rank he desires for us..

      May the pain and sorrow you experience become a means of your everlasting success and eternal happiness in Jannah.
      May you be granted all the strength required to face the days ahead.
      And may your heart always be wrapped in Allah’s comfort and encompassing love.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Melancholic? I think not…
    Realistic? Yep..
    Heartbreaking? Without a doubt..
    Inspiring? Definitely
    A beautiful narrative with extremely crucial lessons? 💯

    Wow! You’re the one that needs to be thanked for sharing your story
    We’re mere readers that can barely do a thing and for that, I’ll always be sorry
    I know this blog is just the tip of the iceberg, we’ll never truly know the extent of your hidden scars
    Helpless and useless we are, but I hope I can offer just the slightest bit of comfort when I say, you’re in our Duas❤️

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Woah!! You’re definitely a flower in the garden of a wild life 🌸🌼🌺
      Jazakillah khair. You categorized and capsulized the description beautifully 💙💖💙

      Lol, laughable to think it was termed “melancholic” without actually being read.. Assuming the story simply by looking at the title. Something like judging the book by its cover without reading the contents.

      Anyhoo, your feedback adds sunshine to my day ☀️🌻

      Those duaas are the ones that silently lift us up when we fall down 💐 Always needed and much appreciated. May Allah bless you abundantly

      Liked by 3 people

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