A break in sequence.
This post came about totally unplanned. I was working on part 2 of underestimated grit, but last night I got caught into an unfamiliar cardiopulmonary episode which was preceded by a forewarning undertow.
Before I give you a glimpse into recent happenings & the undertow being referred to in this post, let me introduce you to my latest ally who is very faithful! Accompanies me all the time, wherever I go and in everything I do.. Lol
A companion by the of name is bronchospasm
Prescribed by my pharmacist of course 👇
As the movement of airflow obstructs further and the wheezing or screeching becomes muted, it becomes the sign of a “silent chest” which some mistake as improvement of the attack. However, if prompt action is not taken, it can be a killer – an impending sign of respiratory failure.
All these attacks, be it Coronary Artery Spasms – angina or bronchospasms etc, range from mild to moderate or dangerous.. With bronchospasms sometimes I choke and go blue, then we know I’m entering a danger zone.
Anyways, I’ve added the above as an introduction for you to understand the poem below.
Kindly take note: All information was provided by my good old, trustworthy, loyal pharmacist and senior paramedic from whom I seek advice when facing a dilemma. Not Dr google!
It just clicked now after this episode that the medic also advised me to request for a medication called albuterol which I’d forgotten about.
The extract below was sent when a GP recently mentioned I have “decreased lower breath sounds.” So when I inquired what diminished breath sounds meant???
The following explanation was given, which fitted in conjuction to the “new” but now old symptoms I’ve been experiencing over 3 months.
In many previous chapters I’ve elaborated extensively regarding breath sounds so not delving into any extra detail, besides this part which I haven’t yet mentioned on the blog. Incase my sources of info are doubted, here is clear proof of the messages 👅
My eyelids were heavy as if a ton of bricks weighed down upon them, but thoughts were flooding in as my heart wrestled. So once the haze settled, I tried to make sense of the indications and multitude of new vs old symptoms that increased day by day prior to the sudden chest pain accompanied by a bronchospasm attack and thick, bubbly, dark brown sputum / fluid..
Blood first trickled at a slow pace, and then splattered onto paper in large amounts as the assault intensified and the wound became bigger…
When every airway tightens and constricts
Airflow reduces and breathing restricts
Bronchioles and arteries spasm
Yet scarce are the ones who fathom
As my heart constantly beats erratic
Not because I am anxious or frantic
When the respiratory system enters a danger zone and shuts down
I gasp for air with a strident screech until there’s no more sound
Amidst these happenings, their words begin to haunt…
Is it ignorance, illiteracy, disinterest, or a blatant taunt?
How dare, when apparent as daylight the symptoms appear
It is untrue and a sheer lack of knowledge to deem it “clear”
When chest pain siezes me in its grip
Or my body is suddenly about to flip
Everything around becomes indistinct
My eyelids can barely flutter or blink
Overpowered by a dense haze
I drift into a momentary daze…
Deep within, I know something major is occurring inside
So I cannot help but pause and wonder what is next to betide
Being human, sometimes the ambiguity can drive me a little insane
But then I remind myself that this entire process is never in vain
The waves are leading me to the place I am meant to be
So I rely on the one who is control of all I cannot see
The most compassionate being who transforms my pain into a rhyme
Will also make the missing links fit into their places at the perfect time
Oh my lord! When I am overtaken by confusion
Help me to ride on, with reliance in your vision
A letter to myself…
Patience oh heart!
Remember he is with you wherever you are
Keep going, for the light may not be too far
Time will soon tell, so cling onto hope
And know! You have it in you to cope
When the seas bring forth a rough and daunting tide
Be gentle on yourself and handle matters in your stride...
Unless urgent I don’t attend to messages while writing because it interrupts my flow of thoughts. But while writing these feelings and passing it onto you my dutiful audience, a notification popped up from a soul sister and I had to open it immediately…
Stunned beyond comprehension, I gaped in disbelief at the befitting image
Realization dawned, she was a means of conveying His special message 👇
A comprehensive answer to the questions which tormented my fatigued state
An assurance of supreme greatness in every doing, so with keenness I await
Because she knew naught, regarding the episode that just transpired
But a feeling persisted, it should be sent – exactly as the Almighty desired...
When our souls are ladened and overwhelmed with grief
Only the giver of peace can restore comfort and relief
Glorified is the everlasting being, who reigns the matters of earth and heavens
Free of error and in accordance to his sovereignty, we witness all that happens
In the alternation of night and day are signs for people of intellect
How fortunate and prosperous are the chosen who pause to reflect
It is possible to find wonders in life’s mysteries…
Keep on searching as you’re swimming. If tiredness drags you down, pause. But never stop. Resume once you are recharged 💎