(Note: From here onwards I do not recall everything myself. Many parts in between remain blurred and others were related later by the selfless souls attending to me so the narrative is a bit sketchy)
06/02/2021
Fluttering my eyelids that burned and simultaneously felt like two bags of cement – heavy to hold on the face and more difficult to lift completely open.
Embers continued blazing and my body became impaired by a fever that wasn’t backing down. I could not hold a straw to my mouth or sit up unaided.
As they lifted me upwards gradually for fajr salaah, I managed to mouth in a weak tone:
“Feeling dizzy”
And still wanted to say “put me down flat because my hearts galloping faster than the stars spinning around in circular motions”
But in a flash before a third word could emit, the waves knocked me over and swiftly retreated backwards sweeping me by force into pitch blackness deeper and deeper below…
(Unsure how many minutes later)
Khadeeja
Khadeeja
My name sounds faint in the background as I resurface upto the normal realm disoriented, wondering why the whole world is racing front wards…
Alhamdulillah a caregiver said they caught my body as it gave in and layed me down according to protocol. I do not have much recollection of what transpired after besides strong medicinal odors wafting around and my name being called every now and again by family members to check if I’m responsive.
My head pounded and somewhere in the midst of the blurriness that followed I distinctly recall having an inaudible conversation with the Almighty, asking for removal of the pain and pleading for one more chance at life with a promise of not idling time.
المحي
Oh the giver of life spare me a few years longer please
Allow one more chance for good intentions with ease
Who can guarantee if I’ll be pulled out the next time darkness overtakes in an instant? I have many ambitions and untied ends to complete.
Oh the one who’s mercy encompasses everything, grant better days where my ambitions can be accomplished.
Through your compassion please prolong my temporary stay and be happy with me before you take me away.
🆘 Right now I feel as though the electrical switches in my body are being pressed off one by one…
🔴 Blood pressure is probably lower than the usual low hence a periodic lack of consciousness (hypotensive).
🔴 The last mini meal eaten was two days ago.
🆘 I’ve only taken in approximately 300 mls of fluid for a duration of 72 hours.
🔴 I passed a little urine the previous night and it had more of an orangish color unseen in years. An abnormally small production in this case results from an imbalance of fluids and electrolytes in the body.
🔴 Oliguria can be defined as decreased urine output that is less than 500 mL/day in adults.
🆘 No more urine output since then because my body is dried up and presumably doesn’t have much current to pull on longer.
(I don’t have to mention lengthy details here but it’s necessary to list these specific symptoms so other Dysautonomia people following my page can be aware and cautious of the red zone signs. Family members were unaware of the larger risks and they’re not blame worthy because no one here understands POTS so the repercussions of these complications aren’t layed out and explained factually in front of patients and their families. We have to figure out the clues by ourselves with the assistance and experience of support group members)
A healthy person won’t decline rapidly into a red zone so it doesn’t warrant fast action. Unsurprisingly, the situation with Dysautonomia differs. Our bodies crash fast since seeing we require an extra intake of fluids to increase plasma volume yet we remain limited by Gastroparesis. Insufficient amounts go down but are not fully absorbed.
Furthermore, we have a specific type of dehydration called Isotonic Hypovolemia that is associated to POTS 👇
(I discussed it previously in other chapters while emphasizing on the importance of fluid backups but will attach it here again to refresh the memory because it’s been a while)
To complicate matters, remnants of the 300 ml liquids from the past 72 hours forced their way out.
Caregivers became more distressed seeing the situation go from from chronic to acute, bad to worse, mild to severe.
While calls were being made for medics to intervene, none guessed how far into danger I had already reached until the next morning dawned…
Swimming Through The Waves 