282 ~ Disappearance and assistance ~

Eid day passes by with no appearance of Salmaan. Understandably, it is a family day with qurbaani often being hectic so I give him the benefit of the doubt and do not want to disturb quality time by questioning his whereabouts, also trusting that he will probably inform us regarding the delay and reschedule a time.

In the meantime my dizziness worsens despite a try at oral intake which is still minimal and I hold tight onto the following verse (as related in chapter 264) desperate for any intravenous access.

22/07/2021

As fajr adhaan resounds through the most frostbitten morning of the year I open my eyes in a usually slow fashion because of delayed pupil dilation but the entire room rotates in rapid motion blurring my vision ahead and slackening movement.

Alhamdulillah the first network of paramedics who attended to me during hypovolemic shock were kept on standby so we called them for an update.

Hearing the situation brought back alarming memories of their first resuscitation battle so they hastened from Johannesburg to avoid dealing with the same scenario as the 07/02/2021.

By 8:15 AM

Alhamdulillah they gained access into a site on the right hand. I was slightly skeptical about that particular vein as it had already blown out on me two months ago and Salmaan also cautioned us with regards to usage of those ones as he was aware of the fragility attached to the loop that forms before the side wrist bone.

Nonetheless, we were satisfied with whichever route the fluid and medicinal combination could start flowing because there wasn’t time to be finical about veins.

After the first bag ended I had to infuse a second but exactly as Salmaan predicted, seven hours later the vein blows from pressure and the needle has to be removed immediately without sufficient sustaining of fluids.

We are now suspended midway in a bigger dilemma. It’s impossible to call the same medics all the way from Johannesburg only to find another suitable IV site and they are also on other call outs during the remainder of the day.

On the other side we are dumbfounded by Salmaans complete disappearance and the way I am unattended in precarious circumstances with not a word 48 hours later.

Was he caught into an unforseen predicament and thereby forgot about returning completely?

Each family member formulates a possible reason for this incomprehensible mistreatment. Together we deliberate and discuss our next move.

At this point my parents are extremely strained and drained from the toll of these drip dramas so I take over all communications completely while also taking their opinions into consideration and making a decision after mutual consultation.

By 7 PM my head is hammering with a full blown migraine triggered from the mental strain of having no access then losing access and being neglected without the peripheral vascular shutdown being fully resolved.

I climb into bed and decide to send a quick message so peace of mind can be restored:

Assalaamu alaikum Salmaan

Maaf so sorry to trouble.
My father’s messages are not going through and he doesn’t keep whatsapp so we wanted to check if you are all safe and if everything is okay…

I switch off the phone hoping for a good qaulity sleep feeling rather disheartened that my options are exhausted as no other medical provider simply facilitates home infusions. Who does one ask and how do I go on in this manner.

Khadeeja remember:

و اذا استعنت فاستعن بالله

And when you seek assistance, seek from Allah first

He is the one who sees you through your best and worst

Khadeeja go on

Continue to live for moments that make your heart smile wider than your face could ever imagine

Who knows when and just maybe, or very specially, another avenue of help is being chosen