Once I muster up courage and feel ready to inform close people regarding the decision as well as those who follow my chronicles on Instagram, I emphasize the point of having to postpone the procedure as no easy decision and request followers to kindly respect since it is a visceral conviction. Whoever wants to chat without toxic positivity or a barrage of insult is most welcome…
Taken aback by the inflow of sincere support, I consider it educational to attach the most cherished messages herein by way of illustrating communication with patients.
The night prior to meeting Dr Tawriq, a fellow ambassador sent the following message:
You’re in my duas. Been thinking of you a lot this week. I know how stressful pre procedure life is! Making sure to ask all the right questions and questioning yourself about whether it’s the right choice. It’s a really hard place to be in because nobody else can make this choice for you and nobody can go through this for you or even with you. You have to live with the outcome so it’s like all the stress just weighing you down. Our fears are never totally gone but I like to imagine when I’m going under GA-it’s total surrender. You really don’t know if you’ll wake up. But you’re trusting in Allah to guide your doctors and take care of you as always.
Local doesn’t work with EDS so even though they used mild sedation when implanting my pacemaker I woke up screaming as soon as they started cutting. But I was too unstable for GA. I’m the world’s biggest fan of GA for real!!! You read your kalimas. Go to sleep. Wake up and it’s all done🙈😂
After reading the change of heart she sends a second:
Fellow ambassador:
I’m glad there’s support. I walked away from major surgery the day before. Doctors had rearranged their schedules and free time and set it up at my convenience but something didn’t feel right. I sat in my bathroom and cried with my bff for 4hrs and then said no. My instincts are no. I can’t do it. And I was expecting everyone to lose it but the main surgeon told me to never go in with doubts. Doesn’t matter if you think you’re upsetting someone’s schedule or time or whatever. Your life is more important. Trust your gut. I needed the surgery. I had it. Just later on when I felt more confident about it all and everything went exactly as planned Alhamdullilah. I went in still nervous but knowing it was 💯 the right choice for me. You’ll know when it’s the right time. You’re living on your own schedule not someone else’s. It’s your life and like I said. Only you live with the consequences or benefits❤️
Close aunt:
Assalaam Alaikum my brave daughter…so well communicated to surgeon.. even I as a lay person will understand your dilemma and empathize…may Allah SWT always guide and protect you…Inshaallah🙏
Past students sister:
SubhanAllaah. I am so proud of you for choosing to make such a hard decision for yourself! May Allaah grant you khair and barakah in your decision and may He grant you even better than you anticipated for yourself.
Follower who is always engaged:
If you don’t listen to that inner instinctive voice, especially when it comes after dua and Istikharah…. then who will?? Duas with you, May Allah open up the way for you with Aafiyah in the best way and best timing. Aameen❤
Crew member:
I would ring someone’s neck if they lectured you😡😡😡😡
Only you know what you going through and thus to deserve to make a decision that’s best for you… Even mentally 😘😘
People will think your crew has some gangster 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
But seriously I would go crazy If someone told you nonsense
I think you needed and will still need time to take in. Its been really rough on you so take all the time you need ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Did they have a port cath fitted…??
In a government hospital…??
Risking their immune system..???
If not then they need a mouthful…
Which I will gladly do on your behalf 😆
If someone can’t be empathic or say something comforting…. They should just stuff whatever they wanted to say🙄🙄🙄😕😕😕😒😒😒
Along with the image below
I can’t expound the importance of noting; there is a seperate time to offer words of encouragement. A time to hold space. A time to only be there and show presence by listening and allowing people to express themselves freely without interrupting or invalidating their emotions.
On the other hand duaas are timeless. Yes we know circumstances will change for good and we know Allah has a greater plan which will be appreciated at a later stage. Entrenched deep within our inner faith we shall glimpse streaks of light that slowly descend but the human heart needs more time to accept what the mind already knows.
At that juncture I was in a partial Dorsal Vagal (numbed state) so even looking at my own reminders of hope and faith scattered over the blog makes no difference when the mind has shut down and is unable to absorb optimism.
Therefore it is essential to first observe the individual and gauge their mental state before responding because they might not be in an open space to recieve your words or their vision might be obscured and not yet cleared to see the light.
Sometimes people are not in need of motivational talk, they seek an understanding ear and your presence suffices as a modem to help them reconnect with their self and then find their way through on the other side renewed to tackle life again.
To every soul who backed this choice and supported me either by checking in and listening or sending a comforting graphic accompanied by duaas, please know they are greatly cherished and deserve a place in my story which now trails a period of waiting patiently and letting the Almightys timing align…
Few graphics also sent as a means of motivation
Swimming Through The Waves 