Four years ago I stared at the space on my screen that stated type your website address & without forethought after a few minutes Swimming Through The Waves felt strongly apt as a description of my odyssey for the search of a mysterious diagnosis.
Not hesitating further I followed the intuitive description & launched STTW little knowing this name was an inspiration from Allah as a prelude to the miracles destined to unfold my struggles.
Little foreseeing the plan Allah had written behind the scenes when my long-winded fight against inequity & failures of the medical system was preordained with great wisdom to interlink me with special people & significant purpose.
Praise be to Allah; after countless near-death episodes throughout the past six years, here I am still standing (& fainting lol – but less frequent) by his infinite mercy & grace
Despite life’s ongoing challenges, every day I try to remind myself what a precious privilege it is to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love, live & use my voice for those who lack privilege, with foremost credit to my creator & everyone else after.
قُلْ لَا أَمْلِكُ لِنَفْسِي نَفْعًا وَلَا ضَرًّا إِلَّا مَا شَاءَ اللَّهُ
Say: “I do not possess any power to bring benefit or avert harm from myself except as Allah wills”
Now and again it’s good to reflect on how far you’ve come, celebrate the milestones which in turn provides renewed strength and motivation to keep going
While the previous years continually set out stepping stones, 2021 provided extensive organization & self-growth. With Allah’s help, I dared my heart & plucked the courage to attempt new ventures I might have felt shaky to do previously. Made calls to paramedics to propose for a particular cause & service without a second voice to back me up, not that there wasn’t anyone but because I challenged myself to take full reigns & broaden my skills.
Voiced the needs of fellow patients, directed emails and messages to their doctors when they were lost & wandering confused.
On one important day when we were scheduled for coaching in preparation for the Twitter chat with the South African Heart Association, I happened to awake woozy in a pre-syncope state, simultaneously trying to assist another patient who also happened to call for help being pre-syncope & required paramedics numbers. After ensuring she was somewhat stable, Dysautonomia superpowers called to kick into action after chugging electrolytes & salt-laden snacks, I logged into the meeting & caught the gist of it while partially faint but with painstaking team effort, the outcome of our first co-hosted chat turned out phenomenal.
From being helpless and voiceless in front of doctors and people who humiliated my sanity, tides turned and power was placed into my hands.
Alhamdulillah today I’m not the one who is bereft of skills to defend her case but also the one guiding others how to empower themselves.
Alhamdulillah today I see other patients progress positively after having drowned in distress.
Relating these noteworthy points is not to publicize or highlight the good achieved with vanity of our services to others but because it is essential & part of a policy to showcase impact by providing reports of what is being achieved in personal capacity or wholly as a team on behalf of our organization.
2021 was a terrific year in terms of change & a testament to the promise of relief being written alongside the suffering. From my initial meeting with Prof to all the events that subsequently followed.
Every difficulty descended with special mercy. Every hurt to the heart came with bursts of happiness & every chaos was settled by a soothing calmness.
It was never one-sided where suffering brought about nothing because the rabb of good does not bring about anything except good
Indeed, every hardship is a blessing & mercy in disguise
But little can it be perceived with our finite human eyes
After six long wearing years
A period of beautiful patience amid earlier struggles
Later blossomed a series of extraordinary miracles
Oh our Most-Loving Allah
I’ve come to understand the beauty
Hidden in my six years of adversity
Respected reader, believe my words when I say:
On those days of desperation when you feel like you cannot endure pain any more
Remember Allah hears and responds to the feebleness in your voice when you implore
Keep going even if it means that on some days all you can do is breathe to survive the day, hour by hour & minute by minute.
Keep going even when there is not a twinkle of light to be seen in the distance
Keep going with full trust in Allah who brings unexpected miracles into existence
Perhaps the misfortune that you do not like, leads you to a beautiful destiny that you never dreamed of
As penned in the initial chapters of STTW:
“Destiny by divine mercy…“