5 ~ Destiny by divine mercy ~

Growing up as a kid, teaching was a far fetched career until i attended an institution which offers specialized studies for pupils wanting to delve into the field of certain Arabic theological sciences.

While spending 6 years in that institution my life goals changed. I decided after graduating i too would love to teach… (I am not from Saudi Arabia nor am i an Arab LOL)

The arabic language captivated me with its profound uniqueness, beauty & eloquence.. It persuaded me to venture into that direction. A decision i never regret.

Apart from the efforts of my dearest parents who did not fail in providing a good upbringing to myself & 5 elder siblings. As well as the sincere efforts of all my teachers who molded into the person I am & brought me where i am today.

A teacher can either make or break a pupils self esteem for the remainder of his / her life ahead.

Teachers who lead by example are lanterns on either side of twisting pathways guiding us towards the correct direction.

Prayers earned, & poured from the heart of a teacher is a formula which benefits an individual far into the future, and secures a prosperous life.

May the illuminating shadows of our teachers be preserved over us for a very long time.

[ JANUARY 2016 ]

After resigning from the teaching career, many ambitions were set.

I planned to achieve them while searching for more successful methods to prevent the migraines from overpowering my life..

Hoping once they settle I could pursue teaching again. It is a career which ignites my being, so until then life was not going to be wasted!

This period was taken as an opportunity to take on new challenges & step into other fields I had been, or should rather say, i still am deeply passionate about…

One among them being calligraphy. It is is extremely therapeutic. While practising or writing, you drown your entire self into it by concentrating on the angle, shape of letters, spacing, fonts etc…

Since my teenage years l would purchase calligraphy pen & book sets to self learn. In college there was a teacher who mastered Arabic calligraphy so she taught me a bit as well.. Finding an artist to teach English calligraphy was a task harder than thought at the time…

For a sterling reason later learnt.

And as fate would have it!

While sauntering down that path, simultaneously trying to gain control over migraines;

I was misdiagnosed by an unqualified lady with a so called “migraine related hormonal imbalance” which led me to taking an endocrine supplement not required!

It caused a toxicity overload, disrupted my normal homeostasi, & was followed by an autoimmune reaction. Thereby attacking & damaging the autonomic nerves that interlink with small fiber sensory nerves.

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/neurology_neurosurgery/centers_clinics/peripheral_nerve/conditions/small_fiber_sensory_neuropathy.html

Excerpt from a medical journal mom has:

“Many disorders of the nervous system are caused by malfunction of the endocrine glands”.

🔺 The adrenaline glands constitute a major part of the endocrine system.

The above is further substantiated by a statement of Dr Glen Cook:

“There definitely appears to be a hormonal component that drives the increase incidence of POTS in young women.“

It is understood and agreed upon, that my adrenals immediately took the knock of that medication.

This conclusion coincided with many drs findings and later research.

[ 5th April 2016 ]

Having no worries, stress or tension.. Life had been great despite the migraines spiraling more out of control with the endocrine supplement.

Strangely I began experiencing terrible insomnia. Something totally foreign!

I was the type of person who layed my head down anywhere! Amid noise, children screaming, light, come what may, I fall asleep in few minutes.

Here I am wide awake the entire night with no apparent reason?

Name anything to help me fall asleep – I exhausted myself during the day, read books that required extreme focus. But to no avail.

A proverb goes: ” The true value of a bounty is only realised once lost”

Aptly so. I only realised I’d been blessed with sleep once it was too late.

[ 18 April 2016 ]

A day that dawned like any other

But changed my entire life forever.
Little had I known, it was the last few hours spent in a normal, healthy body… Unless the future predicted otherwise.
The darkness of night descended

And the blanket above expanded

As the stillness whispered a different tune..

And the stars hung elegantly in mid air.. Relaying a message; that there is definite beauty found in every stage of life percieved as dark..

I picked up the toothbrush with my right hand prior to bed time & felt sudden, intense shooting pains coursing from the palm upward towards the shoulder…

Time stood in my world and became irreversible..

At that precise moment; everything upturned and changed!

A mysterious chronic illness. gripped me in its claws..

Previously I sat on the shores of the oceans in Durban & Port Elizabeth watching with rapture as the waves crashed in a continuous manner against each other, back & forth..

Without being trained or given a manual on how to swim, that night I was flung into the ocean.
Unaware, from then onwards, the waves would swell further in size and force.. The seas would lash upon me with its roughness as I tried to stay afloat. Resisting the undercurrent became a miracle..
I realised, waves do not have the capability of permanently drowning a person.. Strength is delivered according to the choppiness of the tides.

A foreign realm

A different me

A new normal

Initially it was hard but as I repeatedly listened to the advice of scholars and mentors. I came to terms & whole heartedly accepted the changes.

Essentially, it is all a greater part of destiny penned down by the best of all authors

An author unlike human authors
And an author who never falters

Why then should I rebell against the odd circumstances layed upon me?

Nay, i will accept this arduous challenge of

“Swimming through the waves”

Despite drowning momentarily beneath, by means of an encompassing faith I will always resurface above.

I cling onto a conviction, that every good or bad condition only happens with the decision of an author who’s power cannot be defied.

Who’s will I will not question.

Who preordains destiny

Solely by divine mercy…..

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03/04/2016

[ GOLDEN MEMORIES OF MY LAST PICNIC TRIP AS A NORMAL PERSON ]

Travelling down memory lane..

Beautiful visuals replay..

A bright warm sunny day spent with my parents, siblings, their spouses & kids.

Playing cricket, soccer, swing ball, races, climbing trees, teaching the small kids how to climb & loads of other games.. A fulfilling day deeply cherished.

I do not have any major regrets over life prior to illness, other than not appreciating my health more..

Mistakes were rectified. Whatever I could do, I done.. Whatever dreams I had, I chased after them… I could not let time slip away. A go getter on the move..

All praises to the Almighty who granted me the opportunity of travelling to various places including 4 countries abroad.. I am happy & eternally grateful for the education attained.

It is the primary blessing that assists in keeping me going..

And of course all the wonderful people who provide unlimited support & joy.

(This is not mentioned in a boasting manner whatsoever, rather to point out the fact that it is among the reasons why I remain contented)

The picture below was edited on the 21st of May 2017 which marked my crown birthday.

This image was captured while returning home from the picnic at Rietvlei Nature Reserve.