152 ~ Down the lane of reminiscence ~

(Two years ago…

– Written on the 28/05/2019)

يا رب (Oh lord)

None but you fully knew

And pulled me through

Only you fully knew the extreme dread of being rushed in desperation to an unknown hospital for urgent help. Pungent surgical smells that caused the little contents in your abdomen to rise with vengeance.

Only you fully knew how it felt to face the odd and disputable stares of disbelief from ER juniors.

Only you fully knew the difficulty involved in trying to convince a Dr I are not a smoker, because he couldn’t fathom why my lungs are hyper inflated.

Only you fully knew the genuine struggle to breathe as hours passed by without oxygen.

Only you fully knew the ordeal of performing a Pulmonary Function Test with an uninformed physiologist and after recovering from cyanosis.

Only you fully knew the tedious battle we constantly wage to be taken seriously and make Drs understand the correct facts.

Only you fully knew the frustration regarding their miscommunication

Only you fully knew all the strength demanded from me to endure this whole grueling yet nurturing process.

Only you fully knew the mental drainage and capacity limits of having to constantly prove these illnesses.

Only you fully knew the dismay and pain from being turned away with no definite conclusion

But you also fully knew why I had to undergo each phase

And why all those doors were banged closed into my face

You understood

How I withstood

Oh knower of the unseen, once again

My hopes, I beseech you to ordain

You know the journey ahead

One, I am soon about to tread

And so I rely on you

For, only you can do

None of us know what is in store

So here I am begging at your door

Your treasures are unending and do not lessen

By filling the empty & needy hands of your bondsman